Submitted to the 18-25 Project

The group began to happen it was small and a good place to go sometimes I would share, sometimes listen to their stories and hear parents and share my experiences with them. I knew there was a helpline but did not use it then I did not think I needed to I thought I was ok.

As my journey moved on I became involved in MEDA now SEDA more and went down to do some courses on anxiety which was great and met others heard about their experiences and was asked by Bobby to share at a conference and so I did. Very anxiously but it was a relief to do it and amazing to be witnessed as I had not really spoke about my experiences before this opened a whole new ball game to me and more courses. One I remember I did as a youth worker now was of Food fantasies and feelings and this was amazingly powerful that I asked the facilitator questions and soon found myself a new and very good therapist who knew what I meant when I said I can’t get to sleep I have to take food with me, or I can’t stop bingeing and vomiting or I cant eat because and through many years of hard dedication she helped me to become the me I am now.

This gave me the confidence to join the steering group and soon found myself chairing this and helping write leaflets and share my ideas which the staff then used and tailored to what SEDA could offer. This made me feel valued and that my experiences and the pain I had felt did not go to waste but could maybe help the service reach and help someone’s.

It was really weird cos I then started doing a course and from never having used the helpline at all I soon found myself phoning at lunch time talking about my overwhelming and managing food and the feelings from the training I don’t know how many lunch time hours the helpline mainly Paul gave me to help me get through. It was invaluable help and made me see the value in a consistent helpline and I offered some sessions to help on this when I had space from my academic work having already done the training.

It must have been about now that SEDA became SWEDA, I did not have much to do with this change as I was working all the hours god gave to earn money but also probably to avoid feelings and wobbling. I did not really understand why we needed to be SWEDA until looking on the website of eating disorders I realized our neighbouring counties did not have any real voluntary eating disorders service and I had before tried the EDA but as it was such a long way away it felt too impersonal for me and I liked to know who I was talking to and that if I wanted I could drop in and see someone so maybe it was about giving that time and space and ideas to other counties to set up a similar service.

Anyway the support I have been given has been invaluable to me, hard too at times and I would like to give to others the hope and strength that I found in times that I needed it most from MEDA SEDA AND SWEDA. I that others will find the strength I found in volunteering and offering helpline so that it is there when we need it.

Being part of the sweda journey has not always been easy there has been a lot of pain and loss and the people I know who dies from their eating disorder related matters would be saying the same please keep up the service it helped us be with ourselves and is important to be there even if there are no calls it is knowing someone is there that’s important. Giving gave me a chance to help find my recovery and also a chance to get battered on a surf board with Peter in Wolloacombe!

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